The Toddler Bedtime Battle: Parenting Tips for Smooth Nights

Let’s delve into the toddler bedtime struggles I faced with my children, now ages 8 and 13.

Both kids, especially my 8-year-old daughter, have always been night owls. They could easily stay awake without a nap until the crack of dawn… when and if I allow it.

While insomnia may be expected for artists and creatives who tend to be more productive at night, late nights for anyone can lead to issues like overeating, morning crankiness, and a household plagued by sleeplessness. Emphasis on the sleeplessness.

When my son was three, I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t exhausted by his 8:30 pm bedtime. However, even with weekday mornings demanding an early start for daycare drop-off at 6:50 am, getting him to bed and asleep by 8:30 pm seemed like an impossible feat.

There are several methods for conquering the toddler bedtime struggle. Some more effective than others:

• Reading just before bed. This could turn into a marathon of requests to read multiple books, but for most nights, it works like a charm as their eyes get heavier and heavier. A favorite for many families is Goodnight Moon.
• Outdoor Activities – The sun and great outdoors will sometimes help tire them out and help promote better sleep at night. However, vigorous activity may sometimes have the opposite effect and could potentially energize your child. For most folks, this method seemingly works pretty well. During warmer weather, a Water Doodle Mat is a great option, or bring out your child’s inner artist with a Rock Painting Kit.
• Crying it out – Letting them cry it out was the most challenging of them all, as both of my children could seemingly cry for hours (20 minutes could sometimes feel like hours), but this method ultimately helps with sleep training and self soothing.
• Dream Lite/Night Lite – I attempted to use the Raphael Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Dream Lite (apparently no longer being sold), hoping the stars and turtle face might keep my son in bed. Unfortunately, it only resulted in him asking me to lie down with him to gaze at the stars. Very sweet, but not conducive to my plans for productivity after he fell asleep. As for my daughter, she won’t sleep unless she has some sort of night or “party” light on in her bedroom. I’ve even found that color-changing LED lights around the bed can serve as a night light solution. The Rossetta Star Projector is also a popular item for nighttime lighting.
• Limit Screen Time Before Bed: Avoid screens (such as TVs, tablets, and smartphones) at least an hour before bedtime, as the blue light emitted can interfere with the body’s natural sleep-wake cycle.
• Create a Relaxing Environment: Make sure the bedroom is conducive to sleep by keeping it cool, dark, and quiet. Consider using white noise machines or calming music to drown out any disruptive sounds.
• Offer Comfort and Reassurance: If your child is afraid of the dark or has trouble falling asleep alone, offer comfort and reassurance. Consider using nightlights or allowing a favorite stuffed animal like a squishmallow or blanket in bed for added comfort.
• Use Relaxation Techniques: Teach your child relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or visualization to help them unwind and calm their mind before bedtime.
• Be Patient and Persistent: It may take time for children to adjust to a new bedtime routine or overcome sleep difficulties. Be patient and consistent in your approach, and seek professional help if sleep problems persist.

Surprisingly, what worked for my son was simply time. Many toddler bedtime challenges tend to resolve themselves over time. Now, as a teenager, he falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

As for my daughter, at 8 years old, she still remains a night owl and seems to be my creative, but also more defiant child. These days, eliminating screen time at a certain point in the evening seems to be the most effective solution for her. She also requires a little white noise and rotating party lights that double as night lights for a good night’s rest. In contrast, some folks, like myself, require complete silence (unless it’s ambient music), absolute darkness, and a ceiling fan to get a good night’s sleep.

So what is my final parental “expert” solution for bedtime struggles? Make your child as comfortable as possible, give it time, and figure out what works best for you and your household. By implementing these methods consistently, you can help your child develop healthy sleep habits and make bedtime a more positive experience for everyone. Happy sleeping!